True love feels like knowing you are protected within the shared space of your relationship, emotionally, physically, and mentally. Just as there is a fundamental difference between loving someone and being in love with someone, there is an important distinction between love and attachment. However, navigating the sometimes subtle differences between love and attachment can be tricky. In many ways, a strong attachment or dependency can feel a lot like love. True love feels like knowing that your partner will make space to sit and listen and hear you.
You don't ever feel like you have to wave to get your partner's attention. If you have something that you need to work out together, they are able to sit with you, hear you out, and work constructively on the information you provide. They enjoy seeing you as much as you enjoy seeing them. True love feels like looking at the other, and knowing that they are really looking back at you, not a projection of the person they think you should be.
They make you want to be your best self, and they bring that out in you. Recognition sometimes wavers within the confines of a relationship. Work, school, and your social life can sometimes get in the way of being able to truly see each other. Even when your gaze might be cluttered with outside distractions, you are able to return to each other and see each other again.
True love feels like being able to rise toward each other, again and again, even if you need to momentarily fall back to tend to all the other things that life demands of you. They are trying to basically navigate who they are in the context of these deep feelings of love and, for a while, it can look a little weird. But it means love is in the air. If you or your partner starts letting your guard down — are you using baby talk?
Chatting in-depth about your pubic hair? Singing a theme song together every time you brush your teeth? Love doesn't mean that you have to stay, and stay and stay. You can leave the relationship and love them anyway. Love has no room for jealousy. Like possession, jealousy doesn't equal love. We think that if we're not jealous of our loved ones that it means that we don't love them.
True love has confidence in the quality of the relationship. It knows that the other person is happy and content coming back to you and only you. Love is the absence of fear. You can put all emotions on a continuum. On one end, you have love. Then appreciation. After that, it's joy, happiness, contentment and satisfaction. On the opposite end of the continuum of love is fear.
Other fear-based emotions include, hatred, insecurity, jealousy or greed. Love is not needing, but wanting. One of the things we try to teach kids is that there is a clear difference between a want and a need. Needing someone is a feeling based in fear. You fear that you can't live without them, so you need them. And remember, fear is the opposite of love. Wanting someone in your life gives them the freedom to leave, but still shows them you love them.
Love is an action, not just a feeling. Humans tend to be addicted to intense emotion -- especially when it feels good. So, when we're in love, we want to feel that way forever. But guess what? That higher than "Cloud 9" feeling goes away after a while. That doesn't mean you don't love the other person anymore, it just means that it's not new anymore. So that's where the action needs to kick in. Show the person you love them. Don't just assume they know.
Love is unconditional. The word "unconditional" means that there are no expectations or limitations set. To love unconditionally is a difficult thing, and most humans aren't good at that.
But true love really does love without trying to change the other person. Love means putting other people's needs equal to -- or before -- your own.
While people may be inherently selfish for survival purposes, this does not serve us well in relationships. If you don't put other people's needs at least equal to your own, they will grow resentful.
Real love truly, genuinely cares about other people's happiness and will go to great lengths to make people feel valued. Love is the highest vibration emotion that there is. Science has proven that emotions like love and fear have very different vibrations. They can actually measure them. When we lose perspective and stop thinking about our partner as a separate person, we often begin to act in ways that are more intrusive, manipulative or disrespectful rather than being sensitive, understanding and independent.
Openness — Issues are bound to arise in long-term relationships. Being open to dealing with issues is one of the most significant factors in creating and maintaining a successful partnership. It is important to be open, willing to look at yourself and make changes, in order to develop a meaningful relationship.
Rather than acting defensive, overly hurt or angry when your partner gives you feedback, try to adopt an attitude of openness and curiosity about what they are trying to tell you. When we are closed to suggestions, criticism, or new experiences, we limit our self development and often begin to resent our partners. When we are open, however, we are able to develop ourselves and our relationships further. It does sound scary. This article sets the bar pretty high, too.
I felt kinda uninterested in love after reading it. But then you find out that one of the major roads is blocked and under construction, the next is backed up for miles with DUI checkpoints, and the last takes you 30 minutes out of your way. You just say screw it in the end and feed the gerbils. A good healthy relationship does need all those listed. Love is definitely not scary when both people want the same things and are on the same page to make things work! Real true love really did exists in the good old days the way that our family members had it.
Quite a real change today unfortunately. So wonderful what you said — totally agree in the good old days — love had morals, strong inner strength and control — self worth, adoration, respect for each other — no controlling, manipulation, destroying families, sexual pleasure — true real love waits. Real love existed many years ago which is why we really are here today, thanks to our parents.
Dating and meeting the one in those days was certainly a lot easier than today, and nowadays unfortunately women have really changed since back then making it very difficult for many of us single men trying to find love now. Your email address will not be published. What Real Love Looks Like. About the Author.
Lisa Firestone, Ph. An accomplished and much requested lecturer, Dr.
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